The other night, my roommate and I were discussing the fact that one of my cats, Gus, was diagnosed with Chlamydia… in his eye. (Don’t ask the obvious question, please. I don’t know the answer, I swear.)
Me: Well, ya know, at least its one of those diseases that can be cured.
Me: Maybe I should put that on my dating list. I’m getting to that point.
Roomie: What? Someone who has The Clap?
Me: No, someone who has a cureable STD.
Roomie: Ohh.. so like, “Its okay if you have an STD, so long as its cureable?”
Me: Right. Like Chlamydia… or syphilis… or crabs.
Lately I’ve been trying to figure out what type of guy I’m attracted to. Most people seem to think it’s a pretty easy thing to identify, but I’ve found out lately, for me, it’s a mixed bag. I thought I knew what I want, what type I went after most, until I started dating Dave. (I still haven’t blogged about what happened with the 2 of us, have I? I don’t know if I have the heart to do it…) Dave was sort of my “outside the box” guy. I had never dated someone like him… blue collar (plumber), shorter (he was 5’10), really buff and fit (he lifted a bunch), HOT (any female who met him can attest to that…), there were some great personality quirks he had that its hard to write in detail about… anyways, just a bunch of things that I had never experienced before. And the one thing I left our relationship with (besides a broken heart on my birthday) was a better sense of knowing the kind of guy I want to end up with. That’s one thing Dave taught me that I will be forever grateful for.
So anyways, let’s start with 3 lists. One list of non-negotiables, one list of negotiables, and one list of “wishful thinking.”
1) Born a male. Okay, I threw that in just to be a pain in the ass.
2) He can’t be shy & quiet. Anyone who knows me knows how out-going and talkative I am. While I am usually able to pull a conversation out of anyone, I can’t do it all the time. I like someone who has no problem integrating himself with my friends and family. Someone who stands off to the side and just kinda sits there because he doesn’t know anyone ends up boring me.
3) Smart. I like conversation. I like witty banter back and forth. I like someone who knows his shit. We don’t have to agree, we don’t have to have the same political views, but he has to at least know something about the world.
4) Funny. I love to laugh. And I would like to think I’m a pretty funny gal. (My dear friends, please feel free to chime in!) I want someone who can make me bust out laughing with a stupid joke or a funny look, or even a sarcastic comment. This goes with the witty banter thing above.
5) Stable. Financially stable, mentally stable. I realize people have baggage, but I don’t want anything that’s insurmountable. At this point/age in our lives (mid-30’s), you should have your shit figured out. If you don’t know where you’re going by now, then the odds of you figuring it out soon are pretty slim, in my opinion. Actually, I suppose that would fall under:
6) Ambitious. And I’m not talking in a Gordon Gekko kind of way. I’m talking about, again, someone who knows what they want to do and how to get there. It could be something as simple as “I want to take a 2 week long backpacking trip to Europe.” Great! What’s our plan to make it happen? That sort of thing. People who are apathetic are… erm… boring.
7) Likes sports. This is so stupid, but I am a football FREAK. And I can’t be with someone who has no interest in sports whatsoever. You don’t have to have a favorite team in all the professional sports, but don’t scoff just because I do. And get excited and see the fun in a Super Bowl party. That sort of thing.
And honestly, I think that’s it for my non-negotiables. So, onto
1) Height. I used to only be attracted to really tall guys. (I’m 5’4, and I’m talking 6’0+). However, Dave was 5’10, and well, height isn’t as important as I thought it was, I guess. I don’t think I could date a “little person” though. So maybe that should go up in my non-negotiables?
2) Weight/body type. This is probably going to be backwards of what people normally think. Hahah. I used to just be attracted to more.. portly guys. Think Kevin James type. I just liked bigger guys. Dave was slimmer, very fit… I think its because I never thought someone who looked like that could be attracted to me, so I never bothered trying to find out if I were attracted to them. WELL GUESS WHAT… So I guess my standard here is, so long as you can leave your house via your own 2 feet instead of a scooter, then you probably stand a wee bit of a shot.
3) Profession. I’ve dated them all: IT Guy. Lawyer. Bar owner. Plumber. Just HAVE a job or some sort.
4) Children. I love kids. I’m at that place where yes, I would like to have my own children, however, I’m not going to feel unfulfilled if I don’t. And I’m realistic enough to know that the likelihood of finding someone in their early 30’s like myself, without children, is going to be rare. I’m totally fine with that if they are.
5) Pets. Okay so he doesn’t have to LOVE cats, but he has to at least not despise them. Because for better or worse, I have two. Phoebe and Gus, The Chlamydia Kid. And my folks have a dog. So, there ya go.
I am most likely forgetting some things, but these are the biggies that seem to pop up. Onto my “Wishful Thinking” list. This is the list that girls make in their notebooks, circa 8th grade, about their ideal boyfriend. If I could, I’d draw little hearts around everything. These are basically things that make me go “awwww.” And if the guy doesn’t possess them, its not deal-breakers. They are just those things that make your heart melt a little more than it normally would. So here goes:
1) Kisses me on my forehead and/or the tip of my nose. I melt when that happens. EM-EE-EL-TEE. Melt.
2) Calls me “kid” or “kiddo.” I have no idea why I find that so endearing. Its almost embarrassing. NEXT!
3) Tattoos. I have a thing for tattoos. It honestly started the first time I watched “From Dusk Til Dawn,” and George Clooney has that tattoo up his arm. Rowr! Ever since, I have always loved tattoos. Like LOVED LOVED.
4) Someone who doesn’t mind karaoke, and who wouldn’t be afraid to sing it once in awhile. Just don’t HATE it to the point that you’ll never go out to a karaoke bar with me. Please! I’m pretty good, I swear!
5) Someone who can cook and who loves to be adventurous with eating. There’s nothing more manly than a guy who can cook. I love sharing a kitchen with someone who can cook or someone who enjoys trying new types of foods. Fearless = hot.
6) Remembers that I love yellow and orange roses.
7) Gives me stupid cards at random times.
#8) Enjoys video games. I can spend an entire day sitting on the couch and playing Xbox. Its one of my geeky qualities!
9) Plays board games and cards. Do you know euchre? OMG even better!
So there’s a start. My friends could probably fill in some gaps for me. I’m sure there are things that you guys know about me that I have left out. Feel free to add some in.
So now I have to figure out where this guy exists, where to start looking. I’ve been blasé about dating every since the Craig incidents (and yes, he still texts me randomly sometimes…), and since my surgery, and I need to get back on the horse. Erm. So to speak. I need a different plan of attack. So feel free to add in a couple of those ideas, too. I need all the help I can get. If I didn’t, this blog wouldn’t exist.
Then again, so many of you have expressed disappointment when a car-crash story (i.e. Craig) comes to an end, I’m beginning to wonder if ya’ll would purposely sabotage me just for a good story. Heheh.
More posts coming soon!!!