So I decided to go…
Thanks to everyone who gave me their comment on boring guy. I decided to suck it up and go out with him. Because you’re all right.. maybe he’s just bad on the phone. Maybe if I get him out and in his own element, he’ll be more engaging.
So he’s been asking me out and hinting at going out a few times now. Finally, last Monday, I texted him back and said, “So what does your week look like?”
Him: Have to take my car to my dad’s house and have him look at it.
Me: Okay, cool.
Him: Why? What do you have in mind?
Me: Well my schedule is open this week, so I figured that we could finally meet up. Dinner or something.
Him: Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Me: Uhhh. Okay? You seemed to think it was a good idea the other times you’ve asked me out.
Him: Yeah, I’m probably giving you mixed signals, huh?
Me: Yes, definately.
Him: Well I just don’t feel liek there’s any chemistry there. And honestly, it sounds like you go out and drink way too much for me.
Okay.. seriously, WHAT? I go out 2-3 times a week. And if I drink, its usually 1 or 2 with dinner with a friend (or a date). I don’t go out and get wasted every week. Bah. My guess is that eI kept mentioning hanging out with friends or whatever and he just assumed that I meant going out and getting trashed. Whatever dude. With no friends.
So the search continues!
Other random side note: I am thinking about taking my blog a little more public. The Des Moines Register has an area of blogs that are al written by readers. So… I’m thinking about moving this blog over there as well. (I would probably post the same posts in both places.) Thoughts on this? I would totally expand my reader base but I would also open myself up to a lot of criticism, too. Let’s face it folks, I can be harsh. But.. everything I write is the truth, I don’t exaggerate.
Once again, I ask for your opinions!
Should I stay or should I go?
So here’s my dilemma. I have the opportunity to go on a date with a guy fairly soon. My schedule is a bit hectic right now with school starting back up and with the holiday season here, I’m working more hours at my PT job. We’re trying to work out a time to go out…
So do I go?
Normally I’d say YES YES YES! He’s cute, younger than me, smart, no kids, steady good paying job, great emails. Everything that should normally interest me.
So what’s the problem?
He’s fucking boring on the phone. Like BOAR-RING. I could knit a sweater during the long pauses we have in our conversations. And his conversation, when we do have it, is.. you got it! BOAR-RING. Here’s an example. He knows I am an accountant. So what does he say? “So, uh, what do you do? Count stuff?” Really? Srsly?
I don’t know… Someone who can talk to me, who can keep up with me in conversation, who can keep me interested and on my toes.. THAT is who I want to go out with. Not someone who..
OH OH OH OH OH! I forgot to mention…
He hates bars. he hates meeting people in bars. Okay, who can’t empathize with that, right? Its not really all that convenient to meet people in a bar. BUT.. here’s the kicker. Aye, the rub, if you will! He has only been to TWO BARS IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE.
Pause for effect.
Knit a sweater.
TWO BARS. EVER. IN TWENTY-NINE YEARS.
Now.. those of you who a) know my family and b) knows what my family’s business is will find that HILARIOUS.
Those of you who don’t, well… let’s just say we usually have a beer cracked by 8:30am on Christmas morning.
So, yeah.
Am I judging too quickly? Should I just assume that he’s not good on the phone, but may be better in person, so let’s give it a shot? I mean honestly, I need some help here because look at this blog. my judgement isn’t the best obviously.
People are always telling me not to settle… but when do I kinda say “fuck it!” and settle a little bit? Like in this case…
Should I or shouldn’t I?
Feel free to ask questions about it, him or I. I’ll edit this post with my answers if you need them.
I’m leaving this up to the readers of the blog. If the majority think I should go, I will go.
So have at it!
Real Time Update…
So I had a date a little over 2 weeks ago with a guy I met online. He sent me a message, we chatted a bit via email, then text, eventually phone. He asked me, “When are we going to go out?” So we made a date.
He was the ONLY guy I’ve told prior to our date (and, well, at ALL) about this site. He told me he was determined to give me a good date to finally post on my site. I said, ‘We’ll see. I thought I had a great date once and look how it turned out.” But his goal was to be better than all the guys I’ve posted about on this site.
And you know what? He was. The date was all that a first date should be. We had good food, we laughed a lot, we opened up about every aspect of our lives, we stayed out later than we should have and had just a really great time. And, ironically enough, our date ended with good conversation & laughs and hugs in a parking garage at 2am. Much like the “great” date I had gone on a few months ago.
He then asked a few times when I was going to post my blog post about our date. Well, here it is. Although, probably not in the format he wants. Why not? Well…
First off, let me say, I like him. A bunch. he is genuinely a great guy. very funny, very nice, very centered. So different than what I’m used to, and i think that’s what drew me to him. After our date, he mentioned that he would definately want a second date. We texted every day, talked almost every night on the phone for about an hour at a time.
But honestly, that’s all I am going to post about him. If you’re reading this, I’m sorry I’m not going to post more. You know how great of a time we had… Its honestly nothing against you. Its mainly because when I post about great dates, I get comments from readers like, “Sounds great! Hope it continues!” or “He sounds like a great guy! Hope it works out!” And then its followed by a post that contains the 3 text messages he sent me out of the blue this past Saturday:
Text 1: “Hey hope ur havin fun. Im still sick. just can’t seem 2 get over it. I told u I wld be honest & I’m sorry I want 2 pursue a different relationships. I like u and…”
Text 2: “Really enjoy our conversations and I really had fun on our date. I just feel like it may be more of a friend type thing. I know this is chicken shit approach…”
Text 3: “But I find this type of things always hard. If u can find it to stay friends I wld love that. If not I understand that as well. Ur great. U really are. I’m sorry.”
So there you have it. Do i want to stay friends with him? I could see us being friends, yes. I even reached out and gave him a call this afternoon telling him I am not upset or anything, just have a couple questions, but otherwise friends is cool. So far, no call back.
So.. ball is in his (your) court.
Anyways, until I’ve gone out with a guy 3-4 times, no more posts about good dates. Its not that I don’t want to get excited about them.. I do. I just don’t want to question myself about reading into things too much when they don’t work out.
Besides, my bad date stories are so much more interesting. Heh.
Texts are worth a thousand words…
So I decided to post this horrific date story in 2 parts. This first part comprises soley of the text messages that were exchanged back and forth between me and my friends (and a couple by date dude) this past Tuesday night. The next post will fill in the blanks. And believe me, you’re going to want them filled in.
ENJOY!
Parties involved:
Me: Me!
K: friend
N: friend
T: friend
M: friend
C: bartender friend who got me liquored up before I went (not liquored up enough)
B: My roomie
Date: Date guy
Starting time: 6:30. Well, we were supposed to meet at 6:30, but as you can see from the first text….
Me: He is going to be 30 min late. This does not bode well
Me: Omg theres a short mexican dude here. I hope its not him. Is that bad? He didnt look mexican. Tho mex guys love chix with big boobs…
Date: I here.
Me: Oh shit i think its the mex dude. He is texting me from the other side of the bar. What to do, what to do.
Me: Hes here eep
K: Run motherfucker run
Me: I am in the bathroom right now. Omg he keeps talking about what w have in common. Like what? Felony convictions? He seems nice, just too redneck for me
K: OMG I’m laughing my ass off in a subdued manner
Me: Apparently his bro just got out of prison yesterday
K: OMG do I need to call ur ass! Step away from the convict! Send me a pic of him
Me: He has beautiful eyes.. But too many prison tats. Scabs on his face.
K: Wtf. Srsly tell him ur cojoined twin has just broke up with her boyfriend and needs u home stat
Me: Ok so apparently his grandpa was a nazi. and his brother is hooked on valium
K: R u makin this shit up!?!?!????
N: Today is the 70 year anniversary of world war II. Sounds like a great family. HEIL!
N: Hooked on drugs? NOT something you admit on the first date
Me: No i swear
Me: I am so torn. He has prison tats and hates bon jovi. But he as pretty eyes and smells good. And he pees fast. Like so fast i cant send a text in the time hes gone
N: Meth addicted convict or nice smelling guy with great eyes. I can see the problem. NOT. Do not get on his bike. Whatever you do.
Me: He just bought a hot tub for 2000 cash maybe he is loaded
K: I doubt that. Fake gold doesn’t mean he has $
K: Drug $
T: what does he do for a living?
N: Where does he work?
Me: His last girlfriend was 18
N: And he is how old? Run away!
T: run forest run
Me: I am in the bathroom right now. Omg hes really into me. Can you blame him? I have nice boobs. But argh i cant do this. PRISON TATS, PEOPLE.
K: I give up. R u gonna have sex with him?
T: How old is he?
Me: He is 33. He just went to pee. I am hoping to be out of here at 9. He pees like fucking capt america. Hes coming back already. Holy fuck
K: Holy fuck woman!!!! Ur a real live jerry springer episode.
K: U asked for this. He needs a sugar mama
Me: So apparently his convict brother wants me to set him up with friends of mine
K: NOT IT
T: I will hurt you sooooo bad
N: Oh that is hilarious
Me: So im siting here having a nice time and suddendly the words ‘mucus plugs’ comes up in conversation. Nice
Me: He just leaned his chin on my shoulder. Ack
Me: Ok so hes gettting mad that i madefriends w other ppl here. He went pee and isaid to them omg plz keep talking to me. This guy is so not my type
Me: Now they are buying me free drinks to help me cope. Yay!
B: i just lost my match. i played horribly
Me: Omg plz come down. I can get you free booze
Me: He just touched my face and called me angelcakes
K:*vomit* rly?
C: Angelcakes!
T: lol. so I guess that means the date is over.
Me: Omg he keeps touching me
B: Where are you at/going?
Me: Johnnys. Dude he fucking tried to kiss me. Get down here now
K: Just leave
Me: Nooo B is coming to rescue me. Freedrinks!
N: Good for B. Don’t drive crazy girl
Me: No he keeps trying to whisper in my ear
N: I believe it’s time to go then
T: tell him you need to go
K: Leave. Ur not one to take this shit.
K: No more dates on Tuesday
M: Well you made it past 9 so you can officially say you gave it a shot
After he left for home:
Date: I no this fisrt thing was week if u dont want me i understand
Oh yeah.. you’ll want to wait for the details.
An apology, where are they nows and douchekids! (My new favorite word!)
All right, all right, I know. BAD BLOGGER! BAD! Someone needs to flick me on the nose and kennel me until I behave! Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It has apparently been 2+ months since my last dating confession. I promise to say a few sweetened and condensed prayers to make up for it… Suddenly I am craving dessert. Note to self: Skinny Cow fudgesicle the SECOND I am done with this post!
All right so first come the excuses, then come the updates. Fair enough? Although I suppose technically they could go hand in hand.
Excuse #1: I am in school full time this semester. In order to graduate a term early, I decided to go full time over the summer, which means instead of 2 classes, I’m taking 3. Normally, that seems pretty simple, but my three classes were: Peachtree Accounting, Business Ethics (by the way, funny story about that class that I will get to at the end of the post…), and Advanced Taxes for Corporations. NOT FUN. So between working a full time job, a part time job and full time school, yours truly had little gas left in her tank. Which leads us into excuse #2…
Excuse #2: I apparently decided to buy a house. Yep. Just one day decided, ‘Hey, let’s make an offer on this townhouse I’ve been eyeing for 3+ months.’ And within 48 hours, it was a done deal. I have been stressing out over every little aspect of this thing. People who know me know I sometimes obsess over details. I need to be sure I have 100% of my ducks in a row before I can take a deep breath and relax. Some of you can attest that I was agonizing over a frigging shower curtain for a month or so before I finally found one I fell in love with. (Thanks, Target! Although, I think that may be the only time I have ever paid $35 for ANYTHING at Target.) For those of you who are curious, pics are slowly but surely going up on my Facebook page. Please be sure to comment on how lovely and awesome my electric green bathroom is. My mom keeps telling me that I need to put up one of those radioactive symbols on the door & hang some shades on the wall so people can use them while peeing and no be blinded. HAHAHAHAHA. No, wait. NYAH!
So there you have it. Those 4 things have pretty much kept me off the dating marketing. Though there HAVE been some blips on the radar. Nothing DEFCON 1, but there have been a few DEFCON 3’s, a DEFCON 4, and someone who has dropped to DEFCON 21321854987, just by text messages alone. And that’s all of the shitty military analogies I can come up with right now. Give me time, though.. I’ll work some more in.
Shall we get started?
Let’s get updated on some prior gentlemen, shall we? (By the way, I just opened my page to look at it so I can see where I left off, and I totally forgot that I changed my color scheme. I love it! Although, I would LOVE for someone to help me design a custom template for my blog *COUGH COUGH*)
Okay, again, here we go with some “Where Are They Now?” updates:
1) Asian guy with guns (subliminal military reference #1): You know, I haven’t heard back from him in a couple months. Oddly enough, it was a week or so after my hemming and hawing post about him. Which makes me wonder if he’s one of those dudes who googles himself and ran cross my post. “Hmmm… I wonder what people are saying about me today… let’s open Google… okay what should I put in… hmmm… Asian with big guns… okay, skip over the weird anime porn… hmmm.. I’m too young to be associated with WWII… what’s this? Eyes up here? OH MY GOD!” That’s how I picture it in my head anyways. I’m sorry Asian guy! I thought your arms were nice!
2) No Teacher emails. He still logs on gtalk and taunts me, quietly, though.
3) Video Store Jesus is no more. I keep getting IM’s from him on Yahoo when I log on though, that are really weird. They are totally random. Things like: “Oh yeah?” and “I don’t know, what about you?” Which makes me wonder if he really IS Jesus and was responding via Yahoo to a conversation I was having inside my head. Can’t be though. I keep picturing Dante from Clerks. If it was Randall, he might have a shot.
4) Pilot is… ummmmmmm… still crazy. Not that anyone needs any more proof than my prior postings about him, but just for shits and giggles, let’s just say you’re not thoroughly convinced, ok? So we’re talking one night and he tells me that his ex’s new boyfriend has threatened to kill his son. I’m like “Wha?” He tells me that his former fiancé (who, by the way, he was engaged to like less than a year ago…) has this new boyfriend who is a real dick. She’s apparently been calling pilot a bunch, asking for his help to get away from him, etc. pilot, being the nice (i.e. stupid) guy that he is, is falling for it. Well douchebag bf finds out that they’ve been talking and the girl denies it, says its Pilot harassing her. He calls Pilot, tells him to leave her alone, they get into a shouting match and douchebag bf threatens to hurt Pilot’s family. Which Pilot takes as a direct threat to kill his son. Now, I don’t know, I wasn’t there, so maybe the guy was serious, who knows. I doubt it, but again.. who knows. Pilot seems to surround himself with crazies. So, what’s Pilot’s thoughts on the appropriate response to all this? He decides that he is going to invite some of his Army buddies over one night, tell them what this guy “said” about his son, and then call douchebag bf, goad him into coming over so Pilot can claim he was trespassing, and then Pilot and his Army buddies would beat the shit out of this guy. Yes. Definitely the most appropriate response in this situation. Jesus Christ. (Maybe I should start counting religious references, too…)
Okay, so now onto the new guys! Actually, 1 new guy for this post. There are 3 total, but I’m going to split it up into 2 separate posts, just for length’s sake. So this post will have 4 updates (see above) and 1 new guy post. Next post will have 2 new guy posts and any updates that are necessary. Got that? Math is hard.
So here we go with new guy update #1:
I referenced Jason in my very last post (he is #3). We decided to meet. Its one of those weird connection type things where you just HAVE to meet. I mean, its in the stars. Its one of those, if we don’t, what if..? scenarios. So after trying to freaking coordinate our schedules, we decided to say fuck it, and do the cheesy ass Starbucks date after work. And not just Any Starbucks. No, one inside a Barnes and Noble. We are some classy cats, mind you! I suppose, in retrospect, that was a good idea, though. Especially for me, Ms. Always Early All The Time Everywhere. I was able to grab a book and get my grande low cal (HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. sorry, that just always makes me giggle. My drink has 1/3 less calories if I get the low cal version. Which means instead of 3000 calories, it only has 2000) java chip frappucino, double blended with no whipped cream. It’s a godsend, lemme tell you.
Mmmmm. Note to self: Remember note to self from above.
Okay so back to Jason. We decide to meet at Starbucks. I get there early, grab some book that had some stupid list about improving your life, and begin to read. He walks in about 15 minutes later, kinda looks at me sideways. We do that ocular “Are you… who… I think you might be…?” dance, before I smile and say, “Hey you!” Praying to God I am right. (Religious reference alert! I should make my own blog drinking game.)
He walks up and gives me a hug then proceeds to order coffee. COFFEE. PLAIN COFFEE at a Starbucks. Gotta love that. He sits down across from me and we start talking. Mainly about the douchekids working behind the counter who can’t seem to get orders right. In the span of 15 minutes, they screwed up like 4 people’s orders. Which in retrospect probably means my drink wasn’t low cal. SON OF A…
So then we start talking about work and how nervous we were to meet and stuff. And honestly, I was still nervous when I met him. I am going to warn you now, this will not be my best retelling of a dating story because my tummy was in butterflies, and I was nervous, and I wasn’t my usual chatty self. I KNOW. Can you believe it?? I was THAT nervous. I always am when I meet someone that I have a great spark with. I get worried that won’t translate into anything in person. (Ahem, SEE TEACHER and see AWESOME MAKE OUT GUY WHO ADORED ME BUT WHO NEVER CALLED ME BACK… AKA MOTHER FUCKER ASSBAG.)
So we finish our coffees after an hour or so (See? I told you.. I AM LAME!) and we walk outside. He walks me to my car and we’re standing there, both saying how much we enjoyed meeting one another, and how we were going to have more dates, even if our scheduled only allowed B&N Starbucks dates. Then He leans in to hug me. I hug him back and we held it for a long second. Then I pulled away and he says, “Oh come here,” and wraps his arm around my waist, pulls me in and gives me a kiss. I was all giddy. I swear to God (religious reference! Drink!) I Cameron Diaz giggled when I pulled away. So we stand there for anotherrminute or two, saying our goodbyes. And he says, “I’m going to kiss you again.” And he did. WOOT! HAHAHAH. I was Cameron Diaz grinning when I left. AND THAT”S A BIG ASS GRIN, FOLKS.
So since then, he and I have stayed in touch. A lot of emails and IM’s going back and forth. Between my 2 excuses above, and his wonky work schedule, though, we haven’t managed to meet back up yet. But its definitely in the cards. Or in the lattes. Or the frappucinos. Or whatever the douchekid decides to whip up.
Okay, so yeah, see? LAME. EL EH EM EE. LAME. My mind goes blank when things go good. Which is PROBABLY why I remember all the bad stories so vividly. God I am still pissed at make out never call me back guy. FUCK HIM. Did I mention in a previous blog post that I saw him totally by accident in the mall awhile back? I think I did. I need to go back an reread my previous posts… no one wants to hear the same stories twice. Well, maybe they do. Lord knows I love telling them. (Religious reference! DRINK!)
Okay, so there’s you new guy (yay!) update for this post. I got 2 more coming in the next post. I’m running out of fake names to give them, so I am just going to start naming them by their characteristics, kinda like Pilot. In the next installment, we’ll discuss HOT GUY and MOTORCYCLE GUY. And I may have to give Motorcycle Guy a new name, just so people don’t get him confused with weird belly button protrusion stalker guy. I did NOT go out with him a second time. Obviously, because I’m still alive.
SO…. Next blog post will be up within the next day or two… I swear I won’t be so pokey anymore!
Real Time Update 6/9/09
Sorry I have been quiet. Have a lot going on. Buying your first home will do that to you. I DO have some updates, though. I’m saving the best one for last… you won’t believe it.
1) Nothing back from The Teacher. Nada. Zip. Nuttin’ honey. However… BAH! He’s still pissing me off. For those of you with gmail, you know how when you contact someone on gmail, they get added to your contact list, and when they are online, they have a little green dot next to them? Well Teacher and I gtalked a couple of times (its IM within the gmail application, for those of you who don’t have gmail) so he was added to my contact list. Now, for those weeks that he never contacted me, he was NEVER on gmail, EVER. I kept hoping he would log in as some sign that he was alive, but nope. So… I send that email what? week or two ago? Ever since then, he has been on gmail ALL GODDAMNED DAY. EVERY day. That green little dot by his name is just lit up, taunting me, daring me to send him a message. And so far, I haven’t. But fucking-a I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted. Goddamned taunting bastard. If only he wasn’t so damned hot… Argh. I’m afraid I will cave.
2) I’ve been talking to an Asian guy. I have never gone out with an Asian guy before. I don’t even know if I think they are attractive or not. How weird is that? My biggest exposure to Asians is either Iron Chef, or the people at Wok In Motion who serve me sushi. This guy looks pretty built though. In one of his pictures, you can see his guns, and they are nice! (And for those of you who were around when I was dating the cable guy, no, not THOSE types of guns…) Not that I am an arm person, but damn, it would be kinda nice to have guns that large wrapped around me. Rowr. I digress. Seriously, I have no male Asian exposure. (Wasn’t that an Anime porno?) I just don’t know if I am attracted to Asian guys or not. Maybe we’ll find out.
Here’s what he says about himself: I am a down to earth guy, who enjoys everything life has to offer. I’m a open minded person who doesn’t try to be someone or something that i’m not. I enjoy being outdoors, working out, sports, music, movies, and casually going out. I listen to all types of music from alternative, hip hop, rock and the 80’s, depending on my mood. I would like to chat first and then meet up. And if we go our seperate ways, then maybe we can be friends.
I know, I know. Pretty damned vanilla. But he’s been cool via emails, soooooooooooooooo. He might be CD #5.
3) So I’ve been talking to this guy Jason for a couple months. And you know, there’s just that weird spark you get with people? Just their personality? He and I have that. Its goofy, really. (Plus he’s freaking A-DOOR-A-BUL!!) His scheduled is really messed up, though. Take last night, for example. He STARTED work at 1am. So even though its promising, I don’t know when our schedules will allow us to go out.
4) I was tlaking to a dude the other day who is 33, and guess what? He works at a video store. Not as a manager, as a counter jockey. And he only works part time. He’s not a student, he doesn’t have another job, so I have no idea how the hell he supports himself. Maybe he is Jesus in disguise, waiting for someone with a good soul to come take pity on him, so he can reward them handsomely. Sorry, Jesus. My soul ain’t that good, I guess.
Okay… so here’s the one you’ve been waiting for.
5) So I met this guy Saturday night. Like, met him, met him. Not online met him. He’s not the normal type of guy I go for. Had red hair and was really scrawny. But he was nice, so we were just chatted for awhile about nothing in particular. Then, we get on the subject of what we do on weekends. I told him that my weekends are either spent at home by myself, doing errands and stuff I can’t get done during the week, or they are spent going out with friends. He tells me that he enjoys that too.
Him: Yeah, I love going out partying.
Me: Well, I don’t do that so much anymore. I’m getting old, can’t take it! But I love having some drinks and hanging out.
Him: That’s always fun. Especially when you add in a little stuff, too.
Me: Stuff?
Him: You know… “stuff.”
Me: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. “Stuff.” You do that?
Him: Well not all the time. Just when I want to liven up the party.
Me: And how often is that?
Him: I don’t know. Whenever. Its not an everyday thing, though, so don’t worry.
Me: I’m not worried.
BECAUSE I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU.
Oh my God. Like I would date someone who uses a bunch of “stuff.” As in: Smuggle across the border in a balloon UP YOUR ASS “stuff.” No way, jose. So yeah… interesting evening.
That’s all I got right now. Updates on Jason and the Big Gunned Asian as they become available.
Real Time Update: Handshakes are a guy’s best friend!
Hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend. Mine was full of shopping and planting. Whee! 2 things before I give updates:
1) Please please PLEASE don’t comment about my posts on here on my Facebook wall. A couple of the dudes that I’ve written about have added me as friends on Facebook, so even though their names on here are psuedonyms, the jobs/stories are 100% real, and they can tell that their being talked about. I’m not trying to hide this blog, and I won’t when/IF I start dating someone seriously. I just don’t want the guys to take this as malicious. its not meant to be. Although, seriously, they’ve been crazy, haven’t they? Hehehe. Anyways, if you have comments, either send them via email, facebook mail, or leave them on here. I’d appreciate it!!!
2) A shout out to Kori! She and her mom met up with my mom this past weekend and apparently my blog was mentioned. My mom is sort of clueless about this.. she thought they were talking about my regular facebook page. NOPE! You all know more about my dating life than my mom. Mainly because when I go out with a guy she gets all… questiony about it. “Who is he?” “what does he do?” like we’re destined to end up together. So yeah, I don’t introduce mom to too many guys early on. Anyways, thanks for the great words, Kori! I appreciate it! (Kori’s awesome, by the way, and has the most ADORABLE little girls…)
Okay, so 2 updates!
Went out for drinks with Steve on Thursday night. Well, here’s the scenario: I had sent Steve an email on Cupid (not a winkie!) that just said “Hey, thought you sounded interesting. let me know if you want to chat.” He emails me back saying, “Sure. Want to meet for drinks? I live near here, here and here.” I write back. “Sure, I am free these times…” He emails back, “Cool, what about Thursday?” I agree, and BAM! that was it.
I have NEVER gone out on a date with a guy that I had never met in person before, or talked to on the phone before. Even blind dates that friends have set me up on, I knew SOMETHING about them. Not Steve. My thought process was: Look where “getting to know someone” has led me so far! Nowhere. Exactly.
I had agreed earlier in the week to meet up with a friend of mine for drinks after work and I suggested the place I was meeting Steve. that way, I’m already there. (Smart girl, ain’t I?) She knows that I’m meeting Steve later on in the night, and calms me down by talking about some stuff. I have 1 beer while I am waiting for Steve to show. Okay, I had 2. Shush! This time, I had a slight case of nerves because I had never met Steve before. And for all I knew, his last name was Bundy and he liked to dance around at midnight on the soltice covered in chicken blood, eating KFC. (The again, honestly, who doesn’t?) Anyway, right before Steve goes to show up, she leaves.
Okay, here comes the inevitable tangent that always rears its head when I tell a story. Ask Eli. I always have a main story and then like 3 sub-stories. Sometimes the sub-stories are better. Okay, so sub-story. I sort of, kind of am familiar with the bartender at this bar. My friend Beth and I hang out here every once in awhile, and usually on Thursday nights. So I’m talking to him for a couple minutes and he goes to help these chicks who had sat down at the end of the bar. All of a sudden, I hear one of the girls say to the bartender: “Ask her about dinosaurs.” So, of course, he asks the 2nd girl about them.
Now, before I continue on, let me explain that these chicks are in their mid-20’s. They are not… well… they aren’t first graders. That being said, let’s recap. Girl #1 says, “Ask her about bartenders.” Bartender: “What about dinosaurs?”
Girl#2 says: I don’t believe they exist.
Right. Read that again:
Girl#2 says: I don’t believe they exist.
So of course, my attention is now 100% diverted from the Cubs game. The bartender says, “How can you not believe they exist?”
Girl #2: There’s no proof.
Bartender: uh.. THERE ARE BONES.
Girl #2: They aren’t real, though.
Bartender: Well then what are they?
Girl #2: I don’t know. I think the scientists carved them out of stone or something.
The bartender looks at me and says, “Are you getting this?”
Me: So, do you not believe in mummies? not like monster mummies, but like Egyptian mummies?
Girl #2: No. I think they are just stuffed pieces of old paper.
Girl #1: But get this, she believes in ghosts.
Bartender: So, you believe in something that we have no living proof of, but you don’t believe in something where we have millions of bones to back up the claim?
Girl #2: the bones are fake!
Me: I wish I could be a scientist. Just sit aruond and carve bones all day for thousands of dollars. Do you believe that we’ve actually landed on the moon?
Girl #2: Oh yeah. And I believe there are aliens, too.
Girl #1: WHAT?!
Girl #2: Well they HAVE to be real because how else do you explain all the people who have claimed to be abducted?
By now the bartender and I are laughing our asses off. To recap, she doesn’t believe mummies and dinosaurs are real. but there’s no question about ghosts and aliens.
I love random people.
Okay, so anyway, right about this time, Steve shows up. I recognized him immediately. He was cute, really short. Never dated a short guy before. So he orders a PBR and we start talking about the house he’s planning on buying, he talks to me about his work (he works at the same place as The teacher, by the way. How friggin’ weird is THAT?). The entire time, i can tell he’s not really feeling it. And honestly, I wasn’t either. We didn’t lack for conversation, but it wasn’t really.. interesting. Or stimulating. I asked him how many people he’d met from offline and he said, “Only 3. I’m not into this whole online thing, really.” Okay, soooo huh? He didn’t sound like he was looking to date at ALL, much less me. So yeah, I could tell he wasn’t interested. And that turned me off. After a 2nd PBR, he said, “Well, I gotta get going.” He hopped off his stool and stuck out his hand to shake mine. WE SHOOK HANDS GOODBYE. Like a business-type handshake, too. As in: “Thanks for the meeting. Let’s go over that budget schematic next Friday at noon, shall we? Call my secretary to set it up.” Sheesh.
As a 2nd aside, after he left, the two guys who were sitting on either side of us at the bar both started engaging me in conversation. One even bought me a drink. Hehehehe. i didn’t get eother’s number, though, because as i was getting ready to leave, one was in the bathroom and one had some friends who showed up & he was talking to them. DAMNIT! but the night ended on a good note!!
Okay, part 2. This is what I have written up to send to The Teacher. Let me know your thoughts.
Dear Teach,
I hope you had a nice weekend with your girls and your family. At least the weather held out until this afternoon! I spent mine visiting my folks, doing some shopping and getting my planting done. I haven’t had 2 straight days off in a row in a long time, so it was a nice break for me!
I can completely emapthize with being stressed out about school and work, and completely unhappy with where you’re at in life. Right now, I’m so OVER school. Even though I only have 8 months to go, I still can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. And then there’s the huge fear that I am doing this for nothing, that this degree will not get me anywhere. As for my job, its unfulfilling now, unsatisfying. And, like you, there’s not much I can do right now to change that, either. I am so thankful to have a job, I just wish it was one where I woke up in the morning, excited to go in. (Then again, who really has that job? Rock stars?)
So I just wanted to let you know I can understand all the weirdness that’s been going on with you. You just have to have faith you’ll get through it all, and that things work out like they should.
I do want to say though, that even though I can empathize, and that I know how much stress can consume someone, my feelings were a bit hurt when I called on Sunday and you didn’t answer the phone. I guess i didn’t understand why you’d tell me to call that night, and then not answer. And not answer in any way, shape or form until now… 3 weeks later. Just something about me, you can tell me “Hey, I can’t talk right now. Things are so stressful for me, I need some time to work them out.” and I would be 100% fine with that. Seriously. I wouldn’t push or anything. Because i KNOW how it goes… but I just would have appreciated a heads up, I guess. As it made it seem like there was something I did that was causing you to pull away.
that being said, when things calm down with you, are you still interested in meeting up sometime? We got along great on the phone, and we have so many similiar interests, I would be up for it if you were. no time table, of course, but.. just wondering.
Hope you’re well and I will talk to you later…
Me
Okay, thoughts? Honestly? Do I sound too.. weird? One thing, I am totally NOT going to sit around & wait for him, so don’t read the email that way. No worries on that. its just sort of a.. I’m not ready to write him off as a complete douchebag yet. But maybe I should?
C.D. #5(?): Just when you think he disappeared into the night…
So I received an email from The Teacher last night. Completely out of the blue. the guy had no red flags until he cancelled our date, told me to call him on a Sunday & then never picked up when I did? Yeah. So here’s his email in its entirety, and my thoughts afterwards:
From: The Teacher
Subject: Explanation
Ok, I have been scarce for a few weeks, and it’s only fair you have an explanation, so here goes.
As you know, I had interviewed for the position with [work] downtown and felt incredible after the interview. I have always considered myself a pretty good judge of people, and felt like I totally connected with the hiring manager for this position. And in connection with my instincts, she mentioned to be prepared to have a presentation put together for a second interview. After all this, I’m thinking I have a very good shot to be back downtown in a week or so for a 2nd interview. And, not to brag, but I am totally comfortable presenting to groups of people I don’t know. I knew I would have to wait a week before I heard anything because I was one of the first people to interview. The following Thursday, I had a voice mail from the HR person who was the contact person for this job. I called her and she informed me “You won’t be moving forward in the interview process” after she said this, she went silent on the phone. I didn’t know what to say, I was in shock she just stopped talking. I pulled myself together and said, thank you for letting me know. She then said if I wanted any feedback, to call the hiring manager. At this point, I was still in shock and hung up the phone. I had made the cardinal mistake and set myself up to be disappointed. I had to regroup myself not only to get through the day, but I had to evaluate final projects at [school#1] the same night. I went from disappointed to being angry, luckily it was close to the weekend, but one of my co-workers could tell I wasn’t in a great frame of mind. I went back to work on Monday and started doing some informal digging regarding the job. I discovered through Lotus Notes (some people display way too much information on their calendars) the final four people selected for 2nd interviews were all female. Please note, I am not sexist in any way, and if I get out interviewed by a female, she deserves the job. The other thing I found out was one of the final four had a pre-interview with the hiring manager before anyone even interviewed. Of the four candidates, only two of them appeared to have any training experience based on their current positions, yet this was a key point brought up in the job description. The final interviews were held on a Thursday, and the next day there was an opening for a trainer to replace the person who had the pre-interview. I talked to a couple of people I know downtown, and they mentioned it was an inside job, this person was basically told to apply and she would get the job. Yes, she would have to go through the interview process, but she would be viewed differently than the other candidates. At this point, I was furious, but of course there was nothing I could do. Then to throw into the mix, I had final grades to figure for two [school #1] classes, and started teaching at [school #2] the same week. It was pretty much overload, and I didn’t handle it all too well.
To make things even better, I honestly can’t stand my job right now. I work with intellectual idiots, who have nothing to do, yet I am managing a major project, developed an entire four module customer service class, revamping every procedure I am responsible for, and beginning a learning and performance review of the department I support. My boss doesn’t know shit from a hole in the ground, yet everyone thinks she walks on water. She is one of those people who knows just a small piece of something and she is suddenly and expert, yet she had no clue what a SWOT analysis was. She micro-manages and it drives me crazy, and pisses me off. Another one of the people I work with went to Mexico during the Swine Flu mess and got sick when she came back to the states, so she missed a week of work, and [work]’s policy was you had to use vacation to cover your absence because it wasn’t work related. Yet, my boss didn’t feel the policy was fair and she should get company paid time off and not have to use her vacation. My boss got shot down by corporate, but rather than make her take vacation for all her time, she sent work to her and claimed she worked for 7.75 hours to save her a day of vacation. Her work at home consisted of creating sign in sheets for a some training classes we had last week. The whole thing about this mess, was she wasn’t released from her doctor and shouldn’t have been working from home. But when your the pet, you get special treatment. The other guy in the department doesn’t have anything to do other than piddly projects amounting to nothing. I don’t know how he stays busy for the entire day, yet he about drives me crazy in the morning. I like going in at seven so I can not be bothered, yet he wants to chit-chat every day. I am usually pretty productive because the phone doesn’t ring and the e-mails aren’t flying. Throw in the fact between 4:30 and 5:00 I am supposed to be alone, and every night someone stays until 5:00 or shortly before. I enjoy those quiet times because I get so much done, because I can think and there is no one around, yet every night there is someone there.
Add to all of this, I am not liking teaching right now. My Monday night class only cares about how early they can get out each week, and their homework is pathetic. The Masters class on Wednesday which should be a blast is a drag. There are three ladies who would rather talk amongst themselves during the lectures, and don’t get excited about anything, except for playing on the Internet on their laptops. Two of them can’t seem to turn homework in on time, yet can have excuses why they can’t get something done in a weeks time. This class doesn’t want to get engaged in learning, they seem to want everything to be easy for them, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told them grad school is not easy. So, it comes down to, why did I take the extra teaching on, I dread going to class two nights a week. I come home and look at my yard and it needs mowed, yet I am busy M-W every week, and finally can mow on Thursday when it’s a jungle because of all the rain. I have work to get done on the siding on my house before the end of the week before the painters start on Memorial Day, yet when I’m off on the weekends, I have 20 other things to do.
As for the job, I would love to find another job, but it’s just not happening. Everything at [work] right now is pretty much in the bag for the 70 people they laid off downtown when they consolidated two divisions. The only jobs these people won’t take are the entry level jobs which NW ends up going outside the company to hire. Or, they are jobs which I’m not qualified for based on my experience. I’ve looked pretty much everywhere, and there is nothing out there. I even looked at [Company], but when I applied there before I was always rejected even for jobs I was over-qualified for. I would love to get back into management, and actually miss it alot, but I don’t foresee this happening anytime soon. I loved working in retail, but with my situation, I can’t go back to it. Training jobs are few and far between, and pretty much everything appears to be filled by internal candidates. I am pretty much stuck where I’m at unless there is a miracle job out there, or I win the lottery. I’ve applied a few places and gotten some nice rejection letters via e-mail. I always love those, especially when you have all the qualifications they want, yet you still can’t get an interview.
! because, again, i am going to write him back. I just don’t know what to say.C.D. #4: Should I or Shouldn’t I? (con’t)
So here’s the conversation pilot and I had tonight (sorry about the length):
Pilot: blah blah you were quiet today
me: busy. our month end finals went out
Pilot: ohhhh i see…
Pilot: thats where all our bailout money went
me: uh, no
me: so whats up
Pilot: nothing
Pilot: just bored
me: ahh. that sucks
Pilot: story of my life
me: it cant be that bad
Pilot: little do you know
me: what does that mean?
Pilot: little do you know how bad my life is
me: well, youre not dead, youre not sick, you have a roof over your head, youre going to school to do something you enjoy.. thats not that bad.
Pilot: yeah but…… there’s alot you dont know
me: like what? youre a drug dealer?
Pilot: no
Pilot: just bullshit with people from my past
me: like what
Pilot: ex girlfriend starting shit, a bunch of bill collectors comming after me for things i co-signed for exgirlfriends
me: why would you do that?
Pilot: ummm because i’m too nice of aperson
me: i dunno if nice is the word i would use in that instance *heh*
me: dont ever cosign loans!
me: unless youre married
me: just a tip
Pilot: yeah i know
Pilot: hell i dont have the credit to co-sign anything anymore
me: thats not good.
Pilot: what i think th elast time i checked it was about 425
me: oh jesus.
Pilot: see told you my credit sucks
Pilot: got another notice today im getting sued (laughs)
me: I guess I dont see how thats anythign to laugh about?
Pilot: i just dont care anymore… whats the point
Pilot: i’ve been living on 1/2 a paycheck for the last 3 yrs because of getting screwed so…..
Pilot: im kinda used to it
me: yeah but that doesnt mean its a good thing. you should try and change that
Pilot: i’d love to but what can i do
Pilot: im too proud to file for bankruptcy
me: so youd rather get deeper in debt and have a shitty credit score that will keep you from getting anything of value?
Pilot: what can i do?
Pilot: besides… filing for bankrputcy takes money
Pilot: and i dont know how it’ll effect student loans
me: you need to get a less expensive hobby, would be my suggestion. until you can get on your feet.
Pilot: well what am i supposed to do about school?
Pilot: i have to fly for classes
me: you told me a couple days ago you werent sure that was what you wanted to do
Pilot: yeah but… if i give up then i lose the money i have invested
me: yeah but yo ualso wont get yourself 30,000 in debt with a plane, too.
Pilot: yeah but technically that will save me money in the long run
me: is the long run more important than getting your stuff together now?
Pilot: ????????????
Pilot: prob would help if i actually started to date someone who was employed
me: how so?
Pilot: well just for the simple fact that i wouldn’t have to pay for everything all the time
me: yeah but you’d… at leats have to pay for yourself
me: which is what youre doing now, right?
me: so hows that different?
Pilot: thats true and im fine right now other
Pilot: other then all the bullshit of dealing with debt collectors
me: well thats what I’m saying. you gotta get that taken care of before you can concentrate on making money in the future.
me: not to preach to you or anything.. i just think you gotta pay more attention to your situation now, instead of just saying “oh well”
me: cuz ive been there before, and its not pretty.
Pilot: well there isn’t anything i can do really
Pilot: if that makes sense
Pilot: dont have 1200 to file for bankrputcy
Pilot: and if i do… not sure how that will effect my student loans
me: not really. i mean, like i said, a less expensive hobby… i know you love flying, but maybe you should put that on the back burner for awhile
Pilot: or the ability to get them for the next few years
me: what about changing your major? so long as youre in school, student loans wont come due
Pilot: nothing wrong wth my major now… i can afford to pay for renting a plane…
Pilot: just feel like im throwing the money away at 100/hr
Pilot: if i rent for 200 hrs thats enough to buy my own plane
me: 100 bucks an hour, thats what im saying.
me: you can afford that?
Pilot: yes
Pilot: i usually fly between 15 and 20 hrs a month
me: does that come from student loans? or out of pocket?
Pilot: out of pocket
Pilot: well at least till i can get more student loans
Pilot: which will be auguest
me: sooo okay. i admit i hate math, but.. how can you afford 2000 to fly, but not 1200 for bankruptcy?
Pilot: because i have to fly for school
me: but im saying…
me: wait
me: i guess… i dunno.
me: dont chase this dream if its going to break your bank. i mean, doing it in a couple years, once youre on your feet, then great! but youre getting yourself so farin debt, its scary. like i said, i know, i been there
Pilot: well i gotta do something
Pilot: because im not making anything for money right now
me: well thats why i said maybe switch majors.. do something where you can work at the same time
me: and then once everything gets back to normal, start up flying again?
Pilot: well i would work right now
Pilot: but… whats the point if im going to get 1/2 my check taken anyway
me: for what?
Pilot: the judgements for loans i got sued for
me: how much do you have to pay on them?
Pilot: umm they usually take 50% of my check between child support and judgements
me: how long until your judgement is paid off?
Pilot: few years
Pilot: already been paying for 3 yrs
me: ouch.
me: hmmm
Pilot: yeah so like i said… i figure im up a shit creek without a paddle for the time being
me: wel until you take steps to change it, yeah
Pilot: and i’ve tried but it keeps going back to the same
me: well its gotta get better eventually
This dude is seriously… not… datable.
C.D. #4: Should I or shouldn’t I?
So I have a date planned with the pilot this upcoming weekend. I am rethinking it. Why? Because of the following Yahoo conversation we had tonight:
Pilot: why do i feel like nothing is ever going to get better tonight
me: wtf you talking about?
Pilot: just everything that is fucked up in my life
Pilot: just have a reall bad gut feeling
me: ooooookay?
Pilot: i dont know… just have had a really bad gut feeling all day i dont know why
me: hmmm okay then maybe we shouldnt meet this weekend
Pilot: ?
Pilot: it’s not you… i just cant figure out why i’ve got the feeling that i do…..
me: well if youve got a bad feeling, i dont wanna get caught up in your bad karma 
Pilot: ????
me: what? what dont you understand?
Pilot: i dont know…
me: if you just arent up to it, we dont have to go out this weekend…
Pilot: i shouldn’t have said anything
Pilot: it’s not that… i just really cant put my finger on what im feeling, i just feel like something bad is going to happen tomorrow
me: maybe you shouldnbt fly then
me: ?
Pilot: i dont know
me: well, wake up tomorrow and see how you feel
me: if you still feel anxious about it, then dont do it
Pilot: i just feel like im doing nothing twords anything anymore i really think htats it
me: but youre working towards your license…how is that nothing?
Pilot: yeah but it’s taking way too much time
me: well it cant speed up any.. its school
Pilot: yes it can if i had money i could fly every day and be done before the end of the summer
Pilot: then i could go to work and make money
me: well you can only work with what youve got
Pilot: yeah and it sucks
me: its life
Pilot: im just frusterated with it honestly
me: i hear ya, i am too. im in week 10 of 11, and sooooooooooo looking forward to 2 weeks off
Pilot: i just started my summer semester last wednesday
me: i know haha
me: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Pilot: it’s driving me fucking nuts
me: lets talk about somethign else
me: you’ll deal. it’ll pass
Pilot: i really wish i could have just gotten the loan to go to DCA or ATP
me: yeah but you didnt sooooooooo you just have to deal with what youve got
me: and dont let it get you down
Pilot: i know im just getting frusterated with it all… not enough money to fly as much as i want to
Pilot: that and i cant find a fucking safety pilot to help me
me: i know, but you gotta deal.
Pilot: god if i could find one it’d save me so much money
me: yep, well *shrug* dunno what to tell ya
me: sooooooooooooooooooooooo OKAY
me: lets talk about somethign more.. promising
Pilot: such as?
me: our date this weekend!
me: it will be better than sittnig around thinking about safety pilots or something
Pilot: see the problem is… i have to have 40 hrs of instrument time
Pilot: i can do 25 of those with a safety pilot
me: okay you know what? nevermind then.. we’ll talk about flying some more.
me: heheh
me: 
Pilot: nevermind i’ll shut up
me: you know, if thats what you want to talk about then we can talk about it
me: i just figured that since youre in a crabby mood, talking about the thing that make syou crabby probably isnt what you want to do
me: but i was wrong
me: so its okay
me: keep talking
me: whatever you want to chat about… im cool
Pilot: no that isn’t it…. i just dont know what to do
me: about what? you’re goin to school to finish your education
Pilot: i know that just frusterated with it
me: ok
me: well it will figure itself out
Pilot: and i know that…. just GRRRRR why me: *shrug*
Pilot: it’d prob help if i bought the text books im supposed to have for this class too
me: yep.
Pilot: im just too poor to do it
me: go online, can find textbooks for cheaper
Pilot: not these
Pilot: i’ve tried
Pilot: hell they go for more in ebay then i can get them at a bookstore for
me: well if you want to pass, then get the books
me: ugh
Pilot: ugh?
me: i still need to finish some homework
me: turn it in before midnight
Pilot: well get on it… jeeze
Pilot: bum
Pilot: you sound like me last semester with my essays i had to write
me: no, im almost done
me: just have a question out to the professor that im waiting for an answer on
Pilot: i’ve got a few of those because some answers on the final exam were wrong
Pilot: but i wont get an answer till at least tomorrow
me: well if i dont get an answer by 1030, then im just going to turn the assignment in
Pilot: jeeze… why is it i had like 5 people lined up that said they’d do it before i got my license… and now they bail on me….
Pilot: i swear to god i’m to the point of trusting NO ONE
me: do what
Pilot: Fly as a safety pilot….
me: ok
You have a guy here that is so not interested in anything but complaining. I mean, he wouldn’t even attempt to talk about anything else. Even when I tried to lighten the mood. So my question is, am I overreacting? People have bad days, I know that. But… something about this whole conversation just makes my eyes roll. My worry is that I am projecting all my shitty dates onto this guy and reading too much into things.
So… should I or shouldn’t I? Thoughts?
(Oh, and the teacher has now been MIA for 2 weeks. God, seriously? Boys are really starting to make me mad!)
